reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube
More you might like
a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.
sorry for putting you in a glass jar with a twig and a leaf i thought you would like it
one of my favourite linguistic phenomena/in-jokes is spanish potato chips being “ham-flavored, probably”
y’see because spain and portugal are so close, labels in stuff like food, shampoo, etc often come in portuguese as well as spanish
this brand of chips, Lay’s, displays the flavor in spanish and portuguese, resulting in ham-flavored chips looking like this:
with “jamón” being spanish and “presunto” being portuguese
however, “presunto” is also a spanish adjective, meaning “presumed” (or suspected)
so you have this in-joke going where spanish chips taste like ham, presumably
You’ve heard of “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” now get ready for “It’s questionable whether or not this is ham”
Alleged Ham
“One of my plays is getting produced!”
“What’s it about?”
“So there’s this guy, and he really loves this one girl— she’s the girl of his dreams. But she’s going off to college. So he applies to every nearby college, just so he can be close to her. But the only college that accepts him is a clown college. But here’s the thing— he’s terrified of clowns.”
this is the funniest fucking thing and I’ve been thinking about it all week
I was trying to explain to my sister-in-law that I simply cannot turn on my car headlights if anyone is looking at me and she thought I was crazy.
Literally nothing more embarrassing than tying your shoes in public like oh look at me I'm a 5 year old because I couldn't tie my shoes tight enough to last a walk through the kroger
are y’all okay
